{"id":38795426,"date":"2005-09-14T22:57:07","date_gmt":"2005-09-14T22:57:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.casey.com\/2005\/09\/asking-bush-to.html"},"modified":"2013-04-11T02:42:22","modified_gmt":"2013-04-11T02:42:22","slug":"200509asking-bush-to-html","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/casey.life\/blog\/2005\/09\/14\/200509asking-bush-to-html\/","title":{"rendered":"Asking Bush to Move On"},"content":{"rendered":"

The below monologue was in my email this morning. It’s comedian Bill Maher’s closing monologue<\/a> to the September 9th episode of his HBO program, Real Time with Bill Maher<\/a>. I’m a longtime fan of Bill’s. Much like another favorite of mine, John Stewart, his label of “comedian” does not do justice to the sharp and incisive political commentary that he consistently offers.<\/p>\n

This one is definitely worth sharing, thanks to Karen and Jennifer for passing it along.<\/p>\n

Mr. President, this job can’t be fun for you any more.\u00a0 There’s no more money to spend–you used up all of that.\u00a0 You can’t start another war because you used up the army.\u00a0 And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people.\u00a0 Listen to your Mom.\u00a0 The cupboard’s bare, the credit cards maxed out.\u00a0 No one’s speaking to you.\u00a0 Mission accomplished.<\/p>\n

Now it’s time to do what you’ve always done best: lose interest and walk away.\u00a0 Like you did with your military service and the oil company and the baseball team.\u00a0 It’s time.\u00a0 Time to move on and try the next fantasy job.\u00a0 How about cowboy or space man?\u00a0 Now I know what you’re saying:\u00a0 there’s so many other things that you as President could involve yourself in.\u00a0 Please don’t.\u00a0 I know, I know.\u00a0 There’s a lot left to do.\u00a0 There’s a war with Venezuela.\u00a0 Eliminating the sales tax on yachts.\u00a0 Turning the space program over to the church.\u00a0 And Social Security to Fannie Mae.\u00a0 Giving embryos the vote.<\/p>\n

But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because you govern like Billy Joel drives.\u00a0 You’ve performed so poorly I’m surprised that you haven’t given yourself a medal.\u00a0 You’re a catastrophe that walks like a man.\u00a0 Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire city to rising water and snakes.<\/p>\n

On your watch, we’ve lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans.\u00a0 Maybe you’re just not lucky.\u00a0 I’m not saying you don’t love this country.\u00a0 I’m just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side.<\/p>\n

So, yes, God does speak to you.\u00a0 What he is saying is: ‘Take a hint.’<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Amen to that!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The below monologue was in my email this morning. It’s comedian Bill Maher’s closing monologue to the September 9th episode of his HBO program, Real Time with Bill Maher. I’m a longtime fan of Bill’s. Much like another favorite of mine, John Stewa…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[12,19,20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-38795426","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-politics","category-rants"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3mOvc-2CMsG","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/casey.life\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38795426","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/casey.life\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/casey.life\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/casey.life\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/casey.life\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=38795426"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/casey.life\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38795426\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":173354514,"href":"https:\/\/casey.life\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38795426\/revisions\/173354514"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/casey.life\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=38795426"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/casey.life\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=38795426"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/casey.life\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=38795426"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}